Introducing Long Tall Saul

1 Samuel 10-15

Previously in 1 Samuel, chapters 1-9, we were introduced to Samuel, last of the Judges. The people began carping about having a king like all the grown up nations surrounding them, kind of like when I was a wee lad and everyone showed up after Christmas break with a brand new, diecast metal General Lee from ‘The Dukes of Hazard,’ so I started whining to my parents for one. Anyway, this week we continue our exploration of 1 Samuel with chapters 10-15, where we are introduced to Samuel’s pick for the crown, Saul.

Chapter 10

Samuel secretly anoints Saul as King by pouring oil over his head and informs him not to tell anyone what has occurred. Presumably, either Saul had to bend down, or Samuel had to use a stepstool, Saul being a rather tall man, head and shoulders taller than other men.

Samuel then explains to Saul where to go and what will happen to him. At first he’s a bit reluctant (soon to be a recurring theme), but God turns his heart and sets off. He encounters some wandering prophets, banging on drums, flute, lyre, and harp (they probably were only banging on the drums, not the flute, lyre, and harp). They were speaking in ecstasy. Now it’s important to stress they were in ecstasy, not on ecstasy. The spirit of the Lord fell upon Saul, and he too starting speaking in ecstasy.

Now Samuel called an assembly of the people to announce his finding them a king, but Saul was nowhere to be found. They searched high and low before finding him amongst the baggage train. Samuel brings him before all the people, making note of his height, obviously a vital attribute for leadership, but there is already some grumbling amongst the people.

Chapter 11

So far we’ve talked about the issue of the Philistines who were situated on the western side of Israel, but another enemy lay to the east, the Ammonites. One of these, Nahash, used to like to raid the towns of Israel and gouge out the right eyes of the men. It was kind of his thing. So Nahash besieged Jabesh-gilead, and the town leaders sent out an envoy to treat with Nahash, and told him, ‘Look, we’ll do whatever you want. Don’t kill us and you can rule us.’

Nahash replied, ‘Fine. Let me gouge out your right eyes.’ Inwardly, the Jabeshites were like, ‘Jeez what is it with this guy and gouging out right eyes? This is exactly what we were trying to avoid!’ But outwardly, they asked if they could have seven days to have a think on it. Nahash agreed, having no one else’s eyes to gouge out.

The Jabeshites sent word to Saul. Saul then hacked up a yoke of oxen (that’s a cool way to say a pair of oxen) and sent pieces throughout Israel, saying if they didn’t join him in battle against the Ammonites, then this is what would happen to them. Was he implying their inaction would embolden Israel’s enemies, and each city would be slowly hewn from the nation, cut off and destroyed? Or was he saying that he himself was going to come and hack them to pieces as king? Who knows. We do know that they got the message, and over 300,000 men marched against the Ammonites, and the people rejoiced and made Saul king again!

Chapter 12

So all the people gathered to really, really, seriously this time, acknowledge Saul as king. But first, Samuel had some things to get off his chest. Namely, that kings are bad news, that Samuel himself was a pretty decent prophet/judge, and that even though it was pretty petty and rinky-dink of all y’all to want a king (which you’ll regret, by the way), far be it from me to cease interceding to God on your behalf, which, if I were a lesser man, I totally would, and would be perfectly reasonable given the circumstances. Anyway, peace out (mic drop).

Chapter 13

Enough time passes between chapters for Saul to have a full-grown son, Jonathan. Does that mean the role of Saul should be recast, or maybe we should just digitally de-age him for the previous scenes? Scholars differ.

Saul assembles his troops at Michmash (it was a Hebrew smash) and waits there seven days, as Samuel had instructed. Well, it was day seven and no sign of the prophet, and the troops were getting antsy. Some of them were starting to slip away. Saul, not having had the benefit of Family Systems Theory, failed to be the non-anxious presence, and instead gave in to reactivity. Seeking to alleviate the anxiety of his troops, he called for accoutrements of the burn offering and communion sacrifice to be brought forth, and he would do them.

Just as he was finishing up, who should appear but Samuel, who flew into a rage that Saul didn’t trust him and God. Samuel gives Saul some bad news: his kingdom shall not stand, and even now, God has sought elsewhere for a man after His own heart to lead His people, and He’s found him.

Chapter 14

Saul’s son, Jonathan, engages in a daring raid against the Philistines, but his victory is short lived as he was unaware that his father forbade his troops from eating anything until the battle was concluded. Jonathan is a bit miffed: first of all because it’s a bad strategy; secondly because he ate some honey he found. Saul had proscribed death to anyone who disobeyed his edict and, although reluctant, was willing to execute his son because he’d given his word. The troops, however, were on the verge of mutiny, so he relented.

Also, before the battle, Saul asked God for advice, but God was no longer on speaking terms with him.

Chapter 15

Saul battled the Amaleks, and although God had proscribed that they be utterly wiped out and all their stuff destroyed, Saul spared their king, Agag, and took some slaves and a bunch of booty (arrgh, me bucko).

Samuel was incensed, upbraided Saul, and slew Agag his own dang self!